Sara Hand

There are some things I knew going into last year that I now know in a different way and am all the better for it.

Lessons on limits?

I don’t have to know how it is all going to work out to move forward.

There is a place to plan and prepare. However for some things in life, you will never be ready enough. There will never be a good time, enough money or the emotional resources to handle them. Sometimes it is a Nike moment in just do it!

How do I do whatever it takes when stepping out into the unknown? When pushing myself to the limit in some areas, I really have to know what is important. I may have to go to bed earlier and get up earlier. I may have to give some things up. I can do all kinds of things…just not all at the same time.

I don’t have to keep all the balls in the air by myself. What happens if it isn’t perfect? What happens if everything doesn’t get done as planned? Sometimes it is about letting go. Sometimes about deciding what is really important and than sometimes releasing the task and the expectations to someone else.

If I am vulnerable and ask for help I just might get it. I am quite capable in many things, yet this last year circumstances made it necessary to ask for help a number of times. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Knowing what my limitations are will allow me to focus on what I am really good at. Acknowledging what I am not good at will allow others to shine in their strengths.

I chose to focus on building more meaningful relationships with people I know. The nature of a community builder is that we continue to meet new people. However this last year I chose to emphasize build the relationships I have. There are so many incredible, smart, creative and talented people in my life already. To truly know and appreciate each of them will take me the rest of my life already.

2011 was a year of challenges. There were many times I wondered how I would ever navigate this course.  “No one comes out of the fire swamp alive.”  But through God’s grace and the support of the wonderful people, friends and family, I have in my life…I am blessed to close out 2011 positioned to move into a really new year.

Through our BarCamp Sarasota community we are issuing a challenge for those of us who have come through and are expecting to Achieve the Incredible  in 2012. If that’s you…join is a declaring that this year I will make “IT” happen.

Several years ago at a conference discussing how to help others recover from bad things. The conversations were of hope, vision, and faith and risk and joy. And although these are all thoroughly entwined there are some very unique differences that can move you toward success or leave you languishing behind…and hope is where it starts.

Hope: the stuff that dreams are made of!

Hope knows that there is something beyond what I see today. That potential and possibility exist, and it takes that and projects it onto the screen of my future. This hope acts as a compass guiding and directing my thoughts and actions as I move faithfully forward to the reality of this hope.

 The picture I saw of it “hope” was that of a trellis or an arbor. First, with hope in place…I had a structure that my actions would fill out as I moved towards my future. And second, without it “hope…the potential for my life projected onto the screen of my future”…in place, although I could move forward, my growth would lie unstructured on the ground and unable to reach it’s full potential of growth.

 Langston Hughes in a most famous poem replaces the term “hope” with that of “dream”. In today’s world of economic uncertainty, rapidly changing technology and culture, most of which is represented in the media in negative terms above all else we must guard our hope!

It is easy to get bogged down in the negative messages that we are bombarded with daily. As an entrepreneur – a business owner, those messages can be overwhelming as we face the challenges of navigating in an economic environment that bears little resemblance to our, in hind-sight, relatively safe world of yesterday. So what do you do?

It is crucial that you take responsibility for your own mindset. Here are a few tips to keep discouragement from keeping you from doing the things you need to do to be effective.

Tips for Winning:

1. Stop and breathe…Some people just run faster and try harder. Others shut down altogether. Neither response will effectively produce results over the course of time.

 Take 3 deep breathes and release slowly each time. Your nervous system will kick in and you will begin to relax. When you relax you can make better choices.

Exercise: It releases endorphins which will help you feel better. Ride a bike, walk, dance…do something you love.

(Alcohol and other substances to “feel good” don’t count.)

Hold hands with someone you love. Look them in the face and TELL them that. Build Joy…Yes, Joy is a real thing.

2. Set realistic goals. The world is tough enough. Stop trying to be Super person. Unrealistic expectations reaffirm an inability to succeed. Affirmations are great, if you really believe that in your heart…if you don’t, it is NO better that the unrealistic goal. Let yourself grow into big goals, one baby step at a time.

 3. Set up accountability with someone who actually cares whether you succeed or not. Ask someone to give you honest caring feedback. I have a coach, a counselor, and an advisory board and a couple of incredible friends that I have empowered to let me have it…they help me stay on track through constructive criticism and act as cheerleaders when the going gets tough. They believe in me, even when I may begin to doubt myself.

Although you may have many people in your life who are a part of your journey, people who encourage you and help you along the way, when it comes down to it the responsibility for winning in your life is yours. You will need to choose to ask for help when you need it, to give yourself a break when necessary, and to choose to grow and embrace change as the friend it can be.

In our daily journey it is so easy to get caught up in the “all” of what we must do. We hide in the busyness of our routines, the desires of our hearts, only to have them surface at odd moments as unrecognized sadness.

It is spring time in Florida. From the balmy breeze, the blue skies, the budding greenery and oh yes the traffic. It is a time of growth, a time of renewal and refreshing. It is a time to open the windows and let the fresh air fill the house, before it again gets hot.

It is a great time to look at the activities of life, the busyness that fills your day and ask “Why?” If the answers make sense…Great!

If not, here is a quote from Marianne Williamson that I enjoy.

"It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."

Our Deepest Fear

 “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.’ We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

(A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”, Harper Collins, 1992. From Chapter 7, Section 3])

The truth is my life changes when I do. It applies to my business, my relationships, and my health…every area of my life. Maybe the economy could be better, maybe your spouse or significant other needs help, or maybe you were in an accident or have a health challenge that hinders you. However the truth remains; my life changes when I do, and if I don’t change… nothing will change!

Sometimes making life changes, those meant to last a lifetime, can sound overwhelming.

 “It’s the beginning of February and I couldn’t even make it through January with changes, how can I expect to make ‘LIFE CHANGES’ and expect something that lasts?”

Decide to start where you are at. It is so easy to wait until everything is right. However, if you wait until you have everything you need, until all the money is in the bank, until every team member is in place and is thoroughly trained…you may be waiting a LONG time. If it isn’t life or death, consider altering your recipe just slightly if it makes getting started possible. Who knows, it could actually be called inspiration.

Make changes one step at a time, one day at a time. Don’t try to get everything done today. I know that it is hard, because personally, I like things done well and done NOW. However, I also like things that are made to last. Craftsmanship isn’t about who gets to the finish line first, but about getting to the finish line with something that really works.

Celebrate success, whether big or small. Focus on what’s right. You may not have arrived. You may not be where you want to be, but you are not where you were. 

Any moment can be a NEW moment. One mistake, even several does not constitute a lifetime of failure. Whether it is a couple stolen cookies or an indulgent hour at the mall, don’t give up. A few cookies is a few cookies, giving up is weeks of cookies. Any moment you can decide that although you missed it last go around, you are going to take your turn and get up to bat again. The best batting averages start with more misses than hits!

Don’t decide to wait until next year, your birthday or whatever milestone comes around that you measure time by. Start today…or better yet, re-start today, and tomorrow and the day after, and the day after, and the day after that if necessary. In fact, consider every day a re-start as you proactively craft a life!

As we attempt to make a quick trip to the store, wait in lines or notice that there are cars and people everywhere, it might be hard not to grumble at least slightly.

However, as you look at all those out of state license plates and think of the good ol’ days of summer. Don’t forget those good ol’ days were overshadowed by the fallout from an oil spill and the deflation of the housing market. This summer the discussion was of empty guest rooms across all types of resort facilities and efforts were focused on getting the word out that our beaches were clean.

 All those cars and traffic represent people. People that have come to enjoy our beaches, shop in our malls, and eat in our restaurants; who all though it might not have been as warm lately as it normally is, are happy that the wind chill factor is above zero. And although it is way too cold for me to get in the water, the Gulf is only cold for those of us who are spoiled Florida natives or long-time transplants. 

So in sharing our roads and beaches… REMEMBER to be on your best behavior. Try to be thankful and grateful for our winter guests. They could have chosen to go some place else, but they chose here and aren’t we glad they did?

The holidays are almost here. This year has gone by in a whirlwind. As I journal each day, I have been amazed at how quickly the numbers I write at the top of the page have changed. How could it be the end of November so quickly?

The truth is, with two teenage daughters, a reorganized business with new partners, a growing community initiative and more…my life is full. And although I work with others to help them with personal and professional development…I find that often I fall off the proverbial wagon.

So what I have put in place in my life, are periodic times of review. AND the month of November is one of them. Here I take the time to look at my life. I examine where I am in relationship to the goals I set for myself, my family and my business. What did I get done and what did I fail to complete? I don’t wallow in the lack of achievement, but look to see “WHY”. Then I reassess, reorganize, and put together a new and improved action plan with the knowledge I have gained.

I actually review several times a year to see if I am on track. However, November is not a mid-semester review…what happens in November sets the tone for the whole next year. Amid all the holiday hustle and bustle, if you haven’t all ready, set aside some time to review and to plan for this upcoming year. If you have never really done this:  Review…Update…Plan…Implement…or if you feel like you would like to take life up a notch, consider getting some help doing this.

There is a uniqueness that is all about you, that is characteristic of what makes you different…what makes you special, what makes you unlike any other human being. Just as you are unique as an individual so are you as a business. Yes, there may be businesses that provide a product or service that is similar to what you provide. However they are not you AND that IS important. Because it is in your difference, your uniqueness that something called a unique selling proposition comes forth. People buy a product or service …YOUR product or service because of what makes you different not because of how you are the same as something else.

You don’t buy a Ford because it is like a Porsche. If you want a Porsche, you buy one. However if the Ford were similar to the Porsche and you bought the Ford instead, it might be because of a different pricing.  People don’t buy because you are like everyone else, they buy because you are different.

If you don’t know what makes you specifically different and unique, and you would like to be more profitable and more effective in how you spend your time and money, commit some time to defining that position. It will pay off!

The sun rises and sets each day as time goes and the days get shorter. At first it is not so noticeable; but little by little, one change and then the next, as day goes into day, seasons change.  

Depending on your business, the change of seasons may mean different things. It might mean a time of rest, a time of harvest, a time overwhelming business, or maybe even a time of regrouping. Regardless of the seasons or cycles of your business; to ignore changes of one season to the next is to ignore the very nature of life.

As you see the birds flying in the v formation of migration, as the grass needs to be mowed less often, as the days become less humid and the traffic on our roads doubles (hopefully); are you positioned to move into this new season? If not, what will you do about it?