Sara Hand

Life is a journey…What have you learned along the way?

Some of my personal observations.

• My life changes when I do, and if I don’t change…Life doesn’t change.
• If I want better answers, I need to ask better questions…Learning to ask great questions is a skill worth working on!         
• If I don’t apply structure to my time, someone or something else will! Especially if you are a person who gets things done…you will never run out of meetings to go to.

• I need to Focus on the big picture, then fine tune the details. And check back with the big picture…understanding strategy and tactics will keep me moving forward without getting bogged down.
• The only investment I can control is my own personal interest rate. How valuable am I? What kind of problems do I solve? What am I doing daily to become more valuable to myself and others?    
• I will never be successful at owning what is not my responsibility to own.  The line between help and support and reinforcing negative tendencies is very narrow.
• I can not control or change anyone.  I can only choose how I respond to situations and circumstances. What someone does with my response is their choice.   
• Just because I can…doesn’t mean I should. Learning to say no may be more important than YES.
• If not me, then who?  I am a part of a community that grows and thrives based on the contributions or lack of contributions from its members.
• Everyone has something to contribute. Intelligence is not determined by your IQ and neither is personal value. It is worth the investment of time to discover those contributions and draw them out so that they can flourish.
• I have an inherent responsibility to become my best; to faithfully steward the potential I have been given and encourage others in the same.

As I consider the list of things I have learned on this journey called my life…the list continues to grow. I am also reminded of those who have shared a part of this journey to date and am thankful for their contributions to whom I am and who I am becoming. What have you learned? Have you thought about it lately?

Every so often I really am tempted to have someone just take care of the yard for me. (That does not mean that everyone reading this with a landscape business should call me.) Because, if someone else took care of it, I would miss out on all the important stuff I am supposed to learn through the experience of getting out there. For those who have received my newsletter in the past, you have read about butterflies, weeds, micro-climates and a host of other yard related topics. Well this week it’s about potato vine or kudzu. Let me explain what I mean.

Looks Beautiful!

A number of years ago we built a new house on a wooded lot, a heavily wooded, previously un-cleared or ever mowed au-natural lot. This gave us a head start on that Florida landscape, that Sunken Gardens’ look that I love. It also gave us some interesting plants…like potato vine. If you are unsure what this is, think of driving on I-75 and those beautiful vines that fill the wooded sides of the road. That is what the back third of our lot looked like, with some beautiful native plants that we wanted to keep and some palmettos and palms…so we cleared this by hand.

This week working in my backyard, I realized that it is just like some of the other areas of my life. I may have been eating well, exercising, and taking my supplements or maybe I have been pursuing personal development by reading or maybe I have made a commitment to manage my finances more diligently and have been more careful in my spending. However, maintaining these habits is more than 21 days to a different life.  21 days is a start, but real lifelong development of behavior means periodically checking in to make sure that there are no little pieces of that old weedy behavior trying to rear its ugly head.

I am still clearing by hand! Now it isn’t what it was. But I still have to be diligent, I still have to get out there and rescue the palmettos from this lovely, encroaching, invasive vine that would take over the world if there were not people like me. Although this vine has less of a hold on my yard year after year, like my life and the things that are important to me…auto pilot is not an option.  Have you checked in lately to see how your garden is doing?

The New Year is here and the list of things that you are going to do and accomplish is formidable. I applaud you for thinking big. Yet, one of the most common causes for failure is trying to do it all now!

In goal setting with clients, we create a list of all we want to achieve…to experience…to share in the coming year. Then we take a simple one page overview of the year with only the titles of the months on it and divide the objectives from our yearly “to do list” under the titles. There is a desire to want to place most of the items in January…let’s get them done and get them done NOW! However, most of us have heard the question, “How do you eat an elephant?” and know the answer is “One bite at a time!”

This last year has been challenging to most everyone. Whether business has been good or bad, everyone has had to make some changes of some sort. For many the list of changes to incorporate is long. Instead of focusing on how far and how much still needs to be down…talk about an elephant…what one thing could you do today? What one thing would be a good choice today to make the most difference in your life, in your business? And then tomorrow, choose one thing.

Have you heard anyone say something lately that started like this?

“After the New Year I’ll start…”

For some reason, the later we get in the year the more often this comes up. Although there are a host of other significant dates, vacations and events we organize our lives around; there is just something about December 31 and January 1.  I understand we only have a few days left and low-fat eggnog is just not as good as the full-fledged version. I have a few more pieces of fudge to finish off, and a couple more holiday celebrations to attend. Besides now that Santa has been and gone, no one is watching to see if I am naughty right now…what are a few more days before I start my new life on the other side?

However, there is no magic pixie dust to sprinkle over our heads at the stroke of midnight New Year’s Eve that will make this next year any different. For most people, 2010 is going to be more of the same. Why…simply, because change only happens when it happens. The truth “My life changes when I do” isn’t necessarily a fun one. Change is hard. Change takes effort. Not everyone will be supportive of my change. When I make changes, it rocks the boat. Even if it is for my good, some people will resist.  Most people are comfortable with status quo or are waiting for that date in the future when it is going to be different.

Maybe your new year will off with a bang. Maybe you will make incredible progress toward the goals you have set. Maybe you won’t. Maybe you will finish the rest of the holiday goodies that are in your fridge, before you start eating healthy. Maybe you won’t make those extra business phone calls that first week of January. Maybe you will get so bogged down in everything you didn’t start that you just don’t start.

Several years ago an incredible woman shared with me, “It’s a new moment”…and each moment is a new moment! I don’t have to wait for New Year’s, Monday, payday or any other day for my new life to start. I can, but I don’t have to. Your change, and your new year, your new habit, your new life starts whenever you do!

Does discouragement ever keep you from doing the things you need to do to be more productive?

3 Things you can do to change that.

1. Stop and breathe…Some people just run faster and try harder. Others shut down altogether. Neither response will effectively produce results over the course of time.

Take 3 deep breathes and release slowly each time. Your nervous system will kick in and you will begin to relax. When you relax you can make better choices.

Exercise: It releases endorphins which will help you feel better. Ride a bike, walk, dance…do something you love.

(Alcohol and other substances to “feel good” don’t count.)

Hold hands with someone you love. Look them in the face and TELL them that. Build Joy…Yes, Joy is a real thing.

2. Set realistic goals. The world is tough enough. Stop trying to be Super person. Unrealistic expectations reaffirm an inability to succeed. Affirmations are great, if you really believe that in your heart…if you don’t, it is NO better that the unrealistic goal. Let yourself grow into big goals, one baby step at a time.

3. Set up accountability with someone who actually cares whether you succeed or not. Ask someone to give you honest caring feedback. I have a coach, a counselor, and an advisory board and a couple of incredible friends that I have empowered to let me have it…they help me stay on track through constructive criticism and act as cheerleaders when the going gets tough. They believe in me, even when I may begin to doubt myself.

**I believe**

As companies are challenged by current economic conditions and the need to change, sometimes the busyness of business can be overwhelming. Trying to make it happen, we run from one thing to the next: network meetings, company functions, civic responsibilities, family events and what about this social media thing?

But there is something interesting that is happening…a shift in society. A swinging of the pendulum that is changing the way we look at behavior and how we do business. In the last number of years there has been something of an anything goes policy. The simplicity of posting content to the rising number of internet outlets such as MySpace, YouTube and various blogging platforms, meant not a lot was secret anymore. Of course, complaints of “What is our world coming to?” were rampant.

How we did business was also influenced by the online tools and a new dependency on the immediate. Connecting first through email and websites, we developed this stuff called sales copy…long winded, superlative laden and reminiscent of inexpensively produced local hardware and mattress store television commercials. We spent so much of our time connected that we even developed ways to stay connected when not connected…can you say wireless?

Yet could this advent of technology, combined with various economic and generational issues be a driving force in a return to accountability? As companies create policies regarding behavior standards and social media, will employees behave more circumspectly? As more adults move into “virtual” spaces of employment, will the latch key kid be a thing of the past? As electronic marketing messages bombard prospective consumers, will old-fashioned in person meetings make a come back?

Could we be getting back to basics?

The fact that business as normal is not normal any longer is now an accepted fact. But what does the new normal look like? Well if you don’t know, don’t feel bad. It appears that a lot of people are unsure.

However, this can present some interesting challenges. 

Who is your ideal prospect?

(If you used to work predominantly with new home builders, you may not have as many of these as you used to.)

 How do you connect with them?

(If the phone book or newspaper advertising used to do the trick, you might be feeling a bit of a pinch.)

 What type of payment options do you have available for your prospects and clients?

(If in the past large ticket sales were predominantly credit, this could be a problem.)

SOME THINGS TO CONSIDER IN A CHANGING ECONMOY:

Could I think bigger than I am?  

Is there a bigger picture my company fits into?Many companies are cutting back…advertising, marketing, and development.

Have I limited my thinking through preconceived notions of what is possible? 

If you want better answers ask better questions:

How can I leverage the time, money, and effort I put into my business?

How can I expand my business and capture market share with limited resources?

How can I become more valuable to my prospects and clients?

Success is often in the details.  Do I take care of the details in my business? 

If I have changed, do others know? 

 At the end of the day what do I want this to look like?

 Asking better questions, will give you better answers. And as you ask and answer, your questions will continue to get better and in turn your answers will improve. It’s a process, and not a comfortable one. However it is one where the perseverant will not only survive, but will prosper.

Is it the worst marriages that end in divorce? Do the best ideas and  products succeed in the marketplace? Is there a thing called “happily ever after”? Most women will tell you giving birth is not fun, in fact that whole last month is pretty uncomfortable. But that new life, full of possibilities on the other side is, for most people worth it.

Many of our parents and grandparents grew up knowing the value of a good days work. They believed in saving for a rainy day, because they knew those days would come. They were influenced by a “Great Depression” and a World War. They knew good things were worth waiting for and they would live and die for what they believed. In a world of cell phones, microwaves and “super size me” it sometimes appears that the characteristics of that day are all but gone.

 But life is hard and stuff happens. No amount of societal advancement will take that away, although there are an infinite number of new methods and medications for coping with it. This is where the challenge lies. Do I avoid or ignore these obstacles or do I adopt behaviors that simply cope or cohabitate with difficulty. Or could undesirable circumstances press through to a new reality? 

In nature we see the cocooned caterpillar struggle to break free and emerge from its cocoon. It no longer resembles the creature it once was as it strains against the crystalis. Yet if helped to escape, this new creation will never have the strength in its new wings to soar as the butterfly it was meant to be.

It is through adversity that we are sharpened, compressed and refined into an image of beauty. We can deal with these opportunities and press on, or we can choose to exit this process at any point. It won’t mean that life will necessarily be easier or harder. It only means that we won’t go any further, like a child who doesn’t want to play.How can hardship work to our benefit? It works through commitment. With commitment to the process of change, the relationship, and the opportunity itself; we are transformed. When we are committed there is security. We don’t have to focus on pleasing for the moment, because the long term success is more important than the short term discomfort. With security, we can face hard things, we can take risks.

 Feeling stuck? Wondering how your hardships could actually work together for anything good? Can you put a name to those things that might hold you back?

Choose commitment and push through the process. There is something much better waiting outside the cocoon if you dare!

I had this guy I worked for who would say, “Now we’ll know how good you really are.” You just wanted to smack him. However, there is some truth in that. It is one thing to perform well, when all the pieces are in place and life is “good”. It is another to rise to the occasion against all odds and perform well.

Everything has changed…pretty much…and it is not really comfortable. Ok, it’s worse than not comfortable, there are some days that when you get to the end you feel pulverized. Taken down to the most common element that is you…where it is your heart, your passion that sustains you and keeps you moving forward. It certainly isn’t because you feel like it.

So innumerable individuals are abandoning the sinking ship of what was and are attempting to reinvent who they are and what they do. Yet as painful as this might be there is something incredible that is emerging.

• It is a new shape of business.
• It is starting with individuals and moving through businesses and out into communities.
• It is about partnering, collaborating and about working together.

What did not happen by chance has happened by necessity. Being ground in preparation, we are being perfected through the fire and will emerge as steel stronger, more beautiful and more resilient than ever.

 Now we will see, as individuals, as communities, “How good are we really?”

A friend and I were discussing our habit of “quiet time” in the AM. I would like to say that I never miss that time, but that isn’t true. Sometimes the demands of work or children or travel find me well into my day without that time.

Life is so busy, the time goes so fast, and it often feels like, if I could only go faster…So I try. I get up earlier, stay up later, multi-task through breaks and meals, all to be more effective. What difference can one day without quiet time make?

That one day deficit results in what she described as “manic” behavior. Although from the outside almost appearing quite normal, on the inside like a car without brakes moving certainly towards collision. The longer the times between centering and calibrating, the more out of alignment I can become.

So I have to schedule daily check ups, and frequent diagnostics to stay on track. Sometimes, as much as I don’t have time to, I just have to stop! AND breathe, and breathe again…and center.