Sara Hand

The New Year is here and the list of things that you are going to do and accomplish is formidable. I applaud you for thinking big. Yet, one of the most common causes for failure is trying to do it all now!

In goal setting with clients, we create a list of all we want to achieve…to experience…to share in the coming year. Then we take a simple one page overview of the year with only the titles of the months on it and divide the objectives from our yearly “to do list” under the titles. There is a desire to want to place most of the items in January…let’s get them done and get them done NOW! However, most of us have heard the question, “How do you eat an elephant?” and know the answer is “One bite at a time!”

This last year has been challenging to most everyone. Whether business has been good or bad, everyone has had to make some changes of some sort. For many the list of changes to incorporate is long. Instead of focusing on how far and how much still needs to be down…talk about an elephant…what one thing could you do today? What one thing would be a good choice today to make the most difference in your life, in your business? And then tomorrow, choose one thing.

Have you heard anyone say something lately that started like this?

“After the New Year I’ll start…”

For some reason, the later we get in the year the more often this comes up. Although there are a host of other significant dates, vacations and events we organize our lives around; there is just something about December 31 and January 1.  I understand we only have a few days left and low-fat eggnog is just not as good as the full-fledged version. I have a few more pieces of fudge to finish off, and a couple more holiday celebrations to attend. Besides now that Santa has been and gone, no one is watching to see if I am naughty right now…what are a few more days before I start my new life on the other side?

However, there is no magic pixie dust to sprinkle over our heads at the stroke of midnight New Year’s Eve that will make this next year any different. For most people, 2010 is going to be more of the same. Why…simply, because change only happens when it happens. The truth “My life changes when I do” isn’t necessarily a fun one. Change is hard. Change takes effort. Not everyone will be supportive of my change. When I make changes, it rocks the boat. Even if it is for my good, some people will resist.  Most people are comfortable with status quo or are waiting for that date in the future when it is going to be different.

Maybe your new year will off with a bang. Maybe you will make incredible progress toward the goals you have set. Maybe you won’t. Maybe you will finish the rest of the holiday goodies that are in your fridge, before you start eating healthy. Maybe you won’t make those extra business phone calls that first week of January. Maybe you will get so bogged down in everything you didn’t start that you just don’t start.

Several years ago an incredible woman shared with me, “It’s a new moment”…and each moment is a new moment! I don’t have to wait for New Year’s, Monday, payday or any other day for my new life to start. I can, but I don’t have to. Your change, and your new year, your new habit, your new life starts whenever you do!

Does discouragement ever keep you from doing the things you need to do to be more productive?

3 Things you can do to change that.

1. Stop and breathe…Some people just run faster and try harder. Others shut down altogether. Neither response will effectively produce results over the course of time.

Take 3 deep breathes and release slowly each time. Your nervous system will kick in and you will begin to relax. When you relax you can make better choices.

Exercise: It releases endorphins which will help you feel better. Ride a bike, walk, dance…do something you love.

(Alcohol and other substances to “feel good” don’t count.)

Hold hands with someone you love. Look them in the face and TELL them that. Build Joy…Yes, Joy is a real thing.

2. Set realistic goals. The world is tough enough. Stop trying to be Super person. Unrealistic expectations reaffirm an inability to succeed. Affirmations are great, if you really believe that in your heart…if you don’t, it is NO better that the unrealistic goal. Let yourself grow into big goals, one baby step at a time.

3. Set up accountability with someone who actually cares whether you succeed or not. Ask someone to give you honest caring feedback. I have a coach, a counselor, and an advisory board and a couple of incredible friends that I have empowered to let me have it…they help me stay on track through constructive criticism and act as cheerleaders when the going gets tough. They believe in me, even when I may begin to doubt myself.

**I believe**

As companies are challenged by current economic conditions and the need to change, sometimes the busyness of business can be overwhelming. Trying to make it happen, we run from one thing to the next: network meetings, company functions, civic responsibilities, family events and what about this social media thing?

But there is something interesting that is happening…a shift in society. A swinging of the pendulum that is changing the way we look at behavior and how we do business. In the last number of years there has been something of an anything goes policy. The simplicity of posting content to the rising number of internet outlets such as MySpace, YouTube and various blogging platforms, meant not a lot was secret anymore. Of course, complaints of “What is our world coming to?” were rampant.

How we did business was also influenced by the online tools and a new dependency on the immediate. Connecting first through email and websites, we developed this stuff called sales copy…long winded, superlative laden and reminiscent of inexpensively produced local hardware and mattress store television commercials. We spent so much of our time connected that we even developed ways to stay connected when not connected…can you say wireless?

Yet could this advent of technology, combined with various economic and generational issues be a driving force in a return to accountability? As companies create policies regarding behavior standards and social media, will employees behave more circumspectly? As more adults move into “virtual” spaces of employment, will the latch key kid be a thing of the past? As electronic marketing messages bombard prospective consumers, will old-fashioned in person meetings make a come back?

Could we be getting back to basics?

The fact that business as normal is not normal any longer is now an accepted fact. But what does the new normal look like? Well if you don’t know, don’t feel bad. It appears that a lot of people are unsure.

However, this can present some interesting challenges. 

Who is your ideal prospect?

(If you used to work predominantly with new home builders, you may not have as many of these as you used to.)

 How do you connect with them?

(If the phone book or newspaper advertising used to do the trick, you might be feeling a bit of a pinch.)

 What type of payment options do you have available for your prospects and clients?

(If in the past large ticket sales were predominantly credit, this could be a problem.)

SOME THINGS TO CONSIDER IN A CHANGING ECONMOY:

Could I think bigger than I am?  

Is there a bigger picture my company fits into?Many companies are cutting back…advertising, marketing, and development.

Have I limited my thinking through preconceived notions of what is possible? 

If you want better answers ask better questions:

How can I leverage the time, money, and effort I put into my business?

How can I expand my business and capture market share with limited resources?

How can I become more valuable to my prospects and clients?

Success is often in the details.  Do I take care of the details in my business? 

If I have changed, do others know? 

 At the end of the day what do I want this to look like?

 Asking better questions, will give you better answers. And as you ask and answer, your questions will continue to get better and in turn your answers will improve. It’s a process, and not a comfortable one. However it is one where the perseverant will not only survive, but will prosper.

Is it the worst marriages that end in divorce? Do the best ideas and  products succeed in the marketplace? Is there a thing called “happily ever after”? Most women will tell you giving birth is not fun, in fact that whole last month is pretty uncomfortable. But that new life, full of possibilities on the other side is, for most people worth it.

Many of our parents and grandparents grew up knowing the value of a good days work. They believed in saving for a rainy day, because they knew those days would come. They were influenced by a “Great Depression” and a World War. They knew good things were worth waiting for and they would live and die for what they believed. In a world of cell phones, microwaves and “super size me” it sometimes appears that the characteristics of that day are all but gone.

 But life is hard and stuff happens. No amount of societal advancement will take that away, although there are an infinite number of new methods and medications for coping with it. This is where the challenge lies. Do I avoid or ignore these obstacles or do I adopt behaviors that simply cope or cohabitate with difficulty. Or could undesirable circumstances press through to a new reality? 

In nature we see the cocooned caterpillar struggle to break free and emerge from its cocoon. It no longer resembles the creature it once was as it strains against the crystalis. Yet if helped to escape, this new creation will never have the strength in its new wings to soar as the butterfly it was meant to be.

It is through adversity that we are sharpened, compressed and refined into an image of beauty. We can deal with these opportunities and press on, or we can choose to exit this process at any point. It won’t mean that life will necessarily be easier or harder. It only means that we won’t go any further, like a child who doesn’t want to play.How can hardship work to our benefit? It works through commitment. With commitment to the process of change, the relationship, and the opportunity itself; we are transformed. When we are committed there is security. We don’t have to focus on pleasing for the moment, because the long term success is more important than the short term discomfort. With security, we can face hard things, we can take risks.

 Feeling stuck? Wondering how your hardships could actually work together for anything good? Can you put a name to those things that might hold you back?

Choose commitment and push through the process. There is something much better waiting outside the cocoon if you dare!

I had this guy I worked for who would say, “Now we’ll know how good you really are.” You just wanted to smack him. However, there is some truth in that. It is one thing to perform well, when all the pieces are in place and life is “good”. It is another to rise to the occasion against all odds and perform well.

Everything has changed…pretty much…and it is not really comfortable. Ok, it’s worse than not comfortable, there are some days that when you get to the end you feel pulverized. Taken down to the most common element that is you…where it is your heart, your passion that sustains you and keeps you moving forward. It certainly isn’t because you feel like it.

So innumerable individuals are abandoning the sinking ship of what was and are attempting to reinvent who they are and what they do. Yet as painful as this might be there is something incredible that is emerging.

• It is a new shape of business.
• It is starting with individuals and moving through businesses and out into communities.
• It is about partnering, collaborating and about working together.

What did not happen by chance has happened by necessity. Being ground in preparation, we are being perfected through the fire and will emerge as steel stronger, more beautiful and more resilient than ever.

 Now we will see, as individuals, as communities, “How good are we really?”

A friend and I were discussing our habit of “quiet time” in the AM. I would like to say that I never miss that time, but that isn’t true. Sometimes the demands of work or children or travel find me well into my day without that time.

Life is so busy, the time goes so fast, and it often feels like, if I could only go faster…So I try. I get up earlier, stay up later, multi-task through breaks and meals, all to be more effective. What difference can one day without quiet time make?

That one day deficit results in what she described as “manic” behavior. Although from the outside almost appearing quite normal, on the inside like a car without brakes moving certainly towards collision. The longer the times between centering and calibrating, the more out of alignment I can become.

So I have to schedule daily check ups, and frequent diagnostics to stay on track. Sometimes, as much as I don’t have time to, I just have to stop! AND breathe, and breathe again…and center.

I am a note taker. I make lists for myself and am forever writing things down when others speak. It helps me remember what was said and whatever I had wanted to do. I was trained up that a short pencil is better than a long memory. So over the years some of these notes have found there way into various notebook collections of like subjects. However some have wound up in the garbage have become wrinkled or dotted with coffee. Others were written on the scraps of whatever was available and needed to be recopied or were deemed un-notebook worthy.

Then a number of years ago, I received a journal for my birthday. I will admit, I initially thought of journaling as somewhat of a diary thing…and I had never been too good at that.

So I tried something different. I began by using this great looking journal for notes: from church, from meetings, from books I was reading, and then putting in writing the thoughts that came from all the things I was taking in. I put these things ALL in the same book. Although I didn’t notice this initially, as the first book filled and I prepared for the second, I saw a snapshot of who I was and who I was becoming in front of me. My journals became a place to document the impacts of life. I could celebrate victories and unravel defeats. And on a daily basis was and still am confronted by weakness and areas where I need to grow.

In creating an action plan, I will ask clients, “If you could do one thing that would have the most impact on your life, one thing that would help you move toward that person you want to be, and one thing you could start NOW…”

My answer is, “Begin to document your journey!”

Yes I read E-Myth, and if you haven’t you should. Yet sometimes I still get so busy in the doing, actually lost in the activity of getting somewhere that it is somewhat like driving quickly in circles or like a dog chasing its tail. It looks like it could be productive, and maybe it is. But maybe it isn’t…we all know looks can be deceiving.

 So what do you do?

 I have had to learn to evaluate frequently. STOP! Step back. What am I really doing here? Is there a better, simpler way? Is there a way I could utilize resources that have already been created? Is there a way I can leverage my time so that my actions have more impact? Where do I start?

 I don’t know? AND I never will if I don’t take the time to answer some of those questions. What better time than now? The kids are back in school. We are moving into the final stretch of this year. How I finish this year, will have a significant impact on how I start the next year. Some things about this year have been great, some things I definitely want to leave in 2009!

So join me this week and this weekend…AND STOP!