Sara Hand

I worked for a man who used to say to me, “Now we will know how good you really are” whenever I was faced with a challenge. 2011 was a challenging year, and in many ways I am still reeling from that change. Few things bear any resemblance to this time last year. Yet in the furnace of change is where iron becomes strong and glass becomes a thing of beauty.

Pushed to my limits, I am learning to go where I only dreamed and that there are another two magic words besides please and thank you. They are “yes” and “no.” Almost like teaching your children not to share…that’s a whole other story, and the use of them as an adult moving through significant change on a journey toward big goals, is somewhat counter intuitive.

The greatest impact of these words is not achieved when I say them to others, but when I use them for myself. As much as I have worked on boundaries…read all the books (and Cloud and Townsend have a whole series now,) life in 2012 is a PhD course.

As I learn to more judiciously apply these words, the path becomes clearer – more focused – less crowded by distractions. It also allows me to walk in grace for myself, giving to myself more generously of what I may have often reserved more for others. “Yes”, may mean resting when I am tired, while a “no” could be to something good. I can actually have too much of a good thing for my own best interests.

It is easy to get bogged down in the negative messages that we are bombarded with daily. As an entrepreneur – a business owner, those messages can be overwhelming as we face the challenges of navigating in an economic environment that bears little resemblance to our, in hind-sight, relatively safe world of yesterday. So what do you do?

It is crucial that you take responsibility for your own mindset. Here are a few tips to keep discouragement from keeping you from doing the things you need to do to be effective.

Tips for Winning:

1. Stop and breathe…Some people just run faster and try harder. Others shut down altogether. Neither response will effectively produce results over the course of time.

 Take 3 deep breathes and release slowly each time. Your nervous system will kick in and you will begin to relax. When you relax you can make better choices.

Exercise: It releases endorphins which will help you feel better. Ride a bike, walk, dance…do something you love.

(Alcohol and other substances to “feel good” don’t count.)

Hold hands with someone you love. Look them in the face and TELL them that. Build Joy…Yes, Joy is a real thing.

2. Set realistic goals. The world is tough enough. Stop trying to be Super person. Unrealistic expectations reaffirm an inability to succeed. Affirmations are great, if you really believe that in your heart…if you don’t, it is NO better that the unrealistic goal. Let yourself grow into big goals, one baby step at a time.

 3. Set up accountability with someone who actually cares whether you succeed or not. Ask someone to give you honest caring feedback. I have a coach, a counselor, and an advisory board and a couple of incredible friends that I have empowered to let me have it…they help me stay on track through constructive criticism and act as cheerleaders when the going gets tough. They believe in me, even when I may begin to doubt myself.

Although you may have many people in your life who are a part of your journey, people who encourage you and help you along the way, when it comes down to it the responsibility for winning in your life is yours. You will need to choose to ask for help when you need it, to give yourself a break when necessary, and to choose to grow and embrace change as the friend it can be.

In our daily journey it is so easy to get caught up in the “all” of what we must do. We hide in the busyness of our routines, the desires of our hearts, only to have them surface at odd moments as unrecognized sadness.

It is spring time in Florida. From the balmy breeze, the blue skies, the budding greenery and oh yes the traffic. It is a time of growth, a time of renewal and refreshing. It is a time to open the windows and let the fresh air fill the house, before it again gets hot.

It is a great time to look at the activities of life, the busyness that fills your day and ask “Why?” If the answers make sense…Great!

If not, here is a quote from Marianne Williamson that I enjoy.

"It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."

Our Deepest Fear

 “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.’ We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

(A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”, Harper Collins, 1992. From Chapter 7, Section 3])

The truth is my life changes when I do. It applies to my business, my relationships, and my health…every area of my life. Maybe the economy could be better, maybe your spouse or significant other needs help, or maybe you were in an accident or have a health challenge that hinders you. However the truth remains; my life changes when I do, and if I don’t change… nothing will change!

Sometimes making life changes, those meant to last a lifetime, can sound overwhelming.

 “It’s the beginning of February and I couldn’t even make it through January with changes, how can I expect to make ‘LIFE CHANGES’ and expect something that lasts?”

Decide to start where you are at. It is so easy to wait until everything is right. However, if you wait until you have everything you need, until all the money is in the bank, until every team member is in place and is thoroughly trained…you may be waiting a LONG time. If it isn’t life or death, consider altering your recipe just slightly if it makes getting started possible. Who knows, it could actually be called inspiration.

Make changes one step at a time, one day at a time. Don’t try to get everything done today. I know that it is hard, because personally, I like things done well and done NOW. However, I also like things that are made to last. Craftsmanship isn’t about who gets to the finish line first, but about getting to the finish line with something that really works.

Celebrate success, whether big or small. Focus on what’s right. You may not have arrived. You may not be where you want to be, but you are not where you were. 

Any moment can be a NEW moment. One mistake, even several does not constitute a lifetime of failure. Whether it is a couple stolen cookies or an indulgent hour at the mall, don’t give up. A few cookies is a few cookies, giving up is weeks of cookies. Any moment you can decide that although you missed it last go around, you are going to take your turn and get up to bat again. The best batting averages start with more misses than hits!

Don’t decide to wait until next year, your birthday or whatever milestone comes around that you measure time by. Start today…or better yet, re-start today, and tomorrow and the day after, and the day after, and the day after that if necessary. In fact, consider every day a re-start as you proactively craft a life!

The sun rises and sets each day as time goes and the days get shorter. At first it is not so noticeable; but little by little, one change and then the next, as day goes into day, seasons change.  

Depending on your business, the change of seasons may mean different things. It might mean a time of rest, a time of harvest, a time overwhelming business, or maybe even a time of regrouping. Regardless of the seasons or cycles of your business; to ignore changes of one season to the next is to ignore the very nature of life.

As you see the birds flying in the v formation of migration, as the grass needs to be mowed less often, as the days become less humid and the traffic on our roads doubles (hopefully); are you positioned to move into this new season? If not, what will you do about it?

Life is a journey…What have you learned along the way?

Some of my personal observations.

• My life changes when I do, and if I don’t change…Life doesn’t change.
• If I want better answers, I need to ask better questions…Learning to ask great questions is a skill worth working on!         
• If I don’t apply structure to my time, someone or something else will! Especially if you are a person who gets things done…you will never run out of meetings to go to.

• I need to Focus on the big picture, then fine tune the details. And check back with the big picture…understanding strategy and tactics will keep me moving forward without getting bogged down.
• The only investment I can control is my own personal interest rate. How valuable am I? What kind of problems do I solve? What am I doing daily to become more valuable to myself and others?    
• I will never be successful at owning what is not my responsibility to own.  The line between help and support and reinforcing negative tendencies is very narrow.
• I can not control or change anyone.  I can only choose how I respond to situations and circumstances. What someone does with my response is their choice.   
• Just because I can…doesn’t mean I should. Learning to say no may be more important than YES.
• If not me, then who?  I am a part of a community that grows and thrives based on the contributions or lack of contributions from its members.
• Everyone has something to contribute. Intelligence is not determined by your IQ and neither is personal value. It is worth the investment of time to discover those contributions and draw them out so that they can flourish.
• I have an inherent responsibility to become my best; to faithfully steward the potential I have been given and encourage others in the same.

As I consider the list of things I have learned on this journey called my life…the list continues to grow. I am also reminded of those who have shared a part of this journey to date and am thankful for their contributions to whom I am and who I am becoming. What have you learned? Have you thought about it lately?

It’s hot. It’s rainy. The kids are getting restless as the time to go back to school approaches and so are the parents. Business owners have been playing phone tag around summer vacations, and long weekends. In Florida, on August 23rd that will all change and everything will begin to get back to normal. At least that is what many people will tell themselves. Once we get back from vacation, once the kids get back in school, once Labor Day weekend is over…

Not everyone can ride a wave...

If your business only runs well during normal, you are looking at a brief 7-8 weeks before Halloween gets here and then Thanksgiving. After Thanksgiving everyone will be waiting to make decisions at the start of the New Year. In the beginning of the year it will take a couple weeks for everyone to get back in the swing of things after a long break. Then again, there will be a brief 7-8 weeks before Spring Break and Easter Holidays disrupt normal business.  Somewhere after Spring Break we have another 7 weeks or so before graduations, weddings and summer vacations kick in again.

21 weeks of normal sounds ridiculous! Yet we didn’t count tradeshows, CEU’s, national holidays or all the other things that business works around. We didn’t even consider the fact that many businesses don’t even get ready for those 21 weeks during their “off times”, but wait until everything is back to normal to get ready to do business as normal.

“So what do I do about this,” you wonder?

“I have enough challenges from recent economic turbulence to only have 105-120 normal working days.”

 Moving past normal takes an understanding of seasons. A season in business is much like surfing. If you wait until the wave is here to get ready to ride…You are too late! In between waves, when things are little slower is when you paddle out to be ready. Days when there are NO waves are days for servicing your board, or possibly cross-training to master other skills that might be beneficial to your success.

Consider moving past normal and getting ready to catch the wave!

Although it is still HOT, and it is still Rainy and not everyone is in their office everyday; consider being strangely different. Consider moving past normal and getting ready to catch the wave!

Check out growing your Business!

The New Year is here and the list of things that you are going to do and accomplish is formidable. I applaud you for thinking big. Yet, one of the most common causes for failure is trying to do it all now!

In goal setting with clients, we create a list of all we want to achieve…to experience…to share in the coming year. Then we take a simple one page overview of the year with only the titles of the months on it and divide the objectives from our yearly “to do list” under the titles. There is a desire to want to place most of the items in January…let’s get them done and get them done NOW! However, most of us have heard the question, “How do you eat an elephant?” and know the answer is “One bite at a time!”

This last year has been challenging to most everyone. Whether business has been good or bad, everyone has had to make some changes of some sort. For many the list of changes to incorporate is long. Instead of focusing on how far and how much still needs to be down…talk about an elephant…what one thing could you do today? What one thing would be a good choice today to make the most difference in your life, in your business? And then tomorrow, choose one thing.

The Secret to Success (Part Two)

With all the changes in business, people are looking at how to be more profitable.

Start by taking an inventory of what you currently have. Comb through files, closets and storage and make a list of all your assets and liabilities.

What products, services and information do you have?

What products, services and information do you have access to?

What is costing you money to keep?

 Will it produce more that it costs? And when?

After you answer those questions

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

What do you have in your hand?