Sara Hand

I worked for a man who used to say to me, “Now we will know how good you really are” whenever I was faced with a challenge. 2011 was a challenging year, and in many ways I am still reeling from that change. Few things bear any resemblance to this time last year. Yet in the furnace of change is where iron becomes strong and glass becomes a thing of beauty.

Pushed to my limits, I am learning to go where I only dreamed and that there are another two magic words besides please and thank you. They are “yes” and “no.” Almost like teaching your children not to share…that’s a whole other story, and the use of them as an adult moving through significant change on a journey toward big goals, is somewhat counter intuitive.

The greatest impact of these words is not achieved when I say them to others, but when I use them for myself. As much as I have worked on boundaries…read all the books (and Cloud and Townsend have a whole series now,) life in 2012 is a PhD course.

As I learn to more judiciously apply these words, the path becomes clearer – more focused – less crowded by distractions. It also allows me to walk in grace for myself, giving to myself more generously of what I may have often reserved more for others. “Yes”, may mean resting when I am tired, while a “no” could be to something good. I can actually have too much of a good thing for my own best interests.

It is easy to get bogged down in the negative messages that we are bombarded with daily. As an entrepreneur – a business owner, those messages can be overwhelming as we face the challenges of navigating in an economic environment that bears little resemblance to our, in hind-sight, relatively safe world of yesterday. So what do you do?

It is crucial that you take responsibility for your own mindset. Here are a few tips to keep discouragement from keeping you from doing the things you need to do to be effective.

Tips for Winning:

1. Stop and breathe…Some people just run faster and try harder. Others shut down altogether. Neither response will effectively produce results over the course of time.

 Take 3 deep breathes and release slowly each time. Your nervous system will kick in and you will begin to relax. When you relax you can make better choices.

Exercise: It releases endorphins which will help you feel better. Ride a bike, walk, dance…do something you love.

(Alcohol and other substances to “feel good” don’t count.)

Hold hands with someone you love. Look them in the face and TELL them that. Build Joy…Yes, Joy is a real thing.

2. Set realistic goals. The world is tough enough. Stop trying to be Super person. Unrealistic expectations reaffirm an inability to succeed. Affirmations are great, if you really believe that in your heart…if you don’t, it is NO better that the unrealistic goal. Let yourself grow into big goals, one baby step at a time.

 3. Set up accountability with someone who actually cares whether you succeed or not. Ask someone to give you honest caring feedback. I have a coach, a counselor, and an advisory board and a couple of incredible friends that I have empowered to let me have it…they help me stay on track through constructive criticism and act as cheerleaders when the going gets tough. They believe in me, even when I may begin to doubt myself.

Although you may have many people in your life who are a part of your journey, people who encourage you and help you along the way, when it comes down to it the responsibility for winning in your life is yours. You will need to choose to ask for help when you need it, to give yourself a break when necessary, and to choose to grow and embrace change as the friend it can be.

The truth is my life changes when I do. It applies to my business, my relationships, and my health…every area of my life. Maybe the economy could be better, maybe your spouse or significant other needs help, or maybe you were in an accident or have a health challenge that hinders you. However the truth remains; my life changes when I do, and if I don’t change… nothing will change!

Sometimes making life changes, those meant to last a lifetime, can sound overwhelming.

 “It’s the beginning of February and I couldn’t even make it through January with changes, how can I expect to make ‘LIFE CHANGES’ and expect something that lasts?”

Decide to start where you are at. It is so easy to wait until everything is right. However, if you wait until you have everything you need, until all the money is in the bank, until every team member is in place and is thoroughly trained…you may be waiting a LONG time. If it isn’t life or death, consider altering your recipe just slightly if it makes getting started possible. Who knows, it could actually be called inspiration.

Make changes one step at a time, one day at a time. Don’t try to get everything done today. I know that it is hard, because personally, I like things done well and done NOW. However, I also like things that are made to last. Craftsmanship isn’t about who gets to the finish line first, but about getting to the finish line with something that really works.

Celebrate success, whether big or small. Focus on what’s right. You may not have arrived. You may not be where you want to be, but you are not where you were. 

Any moment can be a NEW moment. One mistake, even several does not constitute a lifetime of failure. Whether it is a couple stolen cookies or an indulgent hour at the mall, don’t give up. A few cookies is a few cookies, giving up is weeks of cookies. Any moment you can decide that although you missed it last go around, you are going to take your turn and get up to bat again. The best batting averages start with more misses than hits!

Don’t decide to wait until next year, your birthday or whatever milestone comes around that you measure time by. Start today…or better yet, re-start today, and tomorrow and the day after, and the day after, and the day after that if necessary. In fact, consider every day a re-start as you proactively craft a life!

Life is a journey…What have you learned along the way?

Some of my personal observations.

• My life changes when I do, and if I don’t change…Life doesn’t change.
• If I want better answers, I need to ask better questions…Learning to ask great questions is a skill worth working on!         
• If I don’t apply structure to my time, someone or something else will! Especially if you are a person who gets things done…you will never run out of meetings to go to.

• I need to Focus on the big picture, then fine tune the details. And check back with the big picture…understanding strategy and tactics will keep me moving forward without getting bogged down.
• The only investment I can control is my own personal interest rate. How valuable am I? What kind of problems do I solve? What am I doing daily to become more valuable to myself and others?    
• I will never be successful at owning what is not my responsibility to own.  The line between help and support and reinforcing negative tendencies is very narrow.
• I can not control or change anyone.  I can only choose how I respond to situations and circumstances. What someone does with my response is their choice.   
• Just because I can…doesn’t mean I should. Learning to say no may be more important than YES.
• If not me, then who?  I am a part of a community that grows and thrives based on the contributions or lack of contributions from its members.
• Everyone has something to contribute. Intelligence is not determined by your IQ and neither is personal value. It is worth the investment of time to discover those contributions and draw them out so that they can flourish.
• I have an inherent responsibility to become my best; to faithfully steward the potential I have been given and encourage others in the same.

As I consider the list of things I have learned on this journey called my life…the list continues to grow. I am also reminded of those who have shared a part of this journey to date and am thankful for their contributions to whom I am and who I am becoming. What have you learned? Have you thought about it lately?

It’s hot. It’s rainy. The kids are getting restless as the time to go back to school approaches and so are the parents. Business owners have been playing phone tag around summer vacations, and long weekends. In Florida, on August 23rd that will all change and everything will begin to get back to normal. At least that is what many people will tell themselves. Once we get back from vacation, once the kids get back in school, once Labor Day weekend is over…

Not everyone can ride a wave...

If your business only runs well during normal, you are looking at a brief 7-8 weeks before Halloween gets here and then Thanksgiving. After Thanksgiving everyone will be waiting to make decisions at the start of the New Year. In the beginning of the year it will take a couple weeks for everyone to get back in the swing of things after a long break. Then again, there will be a brief 7-8 weeks before Spring Break and Easter Holidays disrupt normal business.  Somewhere after Spring Break we have another 7 weeks or so before graduations, weddings and summer vacations kick in again.

21 weeks of normal sounds ridiculous! Yet we didn’t count tradeshows, CEU’s, national holidays or all the other things that business works around. We didn’t even consider the fact that many businesses don’t even get ready for those 21 weeks during their “off times”, but wait until everything is back to normal to get ready to do business as normal.

“So what do I do about this,” you wonder?

“I have enough challenges from recent economic turbulence to only have 105-120 normal working days.”

 Moving past normal takes an understanding of seasons. A season in business is much like surfing. If you wait until the wave is here to get ready to ride…You are too late! In between waves, when things are little slower is when you paddle out to be ready. Days when there are NO waves are days for servicing your board, or possibly cross-training to master other skills that might be beneficial to your success.

Consider moving past normal and getting ready to catch the wave!

Although it is still HOT, and it is still Rainy and not everyone is in their office everyday; consider being strangely different. Consider moving past normal and getting ready to catch the wave!

Check out growing your Business!

My daughter and I resolved to develop in better health. To do this we decided that getting more exercise would be good and that we would ride bikes together several times a week. We didn’t wait until January to get started. Before Christmas we began to ride 5 miles 2-3 times a week.

It felt good getting off to a great start, and then January came. Would we let a little cold Florida weather discourage us? Absolutely not! WE bundled up with many lighter layers and included hats, scarves and gloves. Each time challenges were presented to discourage us, we simply developed plans that to keep us moving forward.

However February was different. Not only was it cold, but upper respiratory challenges made riding impossible.

March brought us “wet” and two trips to Reale Bikes in Venice for tires and tubes. (Great Service!)

AND isn’t that the way it seems so often. You start out with a great initiative. You have well outlined goals, a plan to implement and you get off to a terrific start. Then things begin to happen, circumstances beyond your control. Yet you continue on, but so does the opposition. Sometimes you can feel like you are so far off track…

However, April arrived. It’s a new month and each day is new. The weather is warm, the bikes have been serviced, and we are both feeling better. Monday was a 10 mile ride for us.

My daughter said several times…”Don’t you feel empowered Mom?”

The answer is YES! We chose to not let time that we weren’t moving forward to keep us from continuing although it would have been very easy to have been discouraged and to have given up.

If you have gotten off track, if your recent actions have not fully corresponded to your initial intentions for this year…I want to encourage you that although staying on target is good; that getting back on your bike is incredibly rewarding.

So if it’s not the necessarily the best products or the best ideas that make it in the marketplace, and a good plan and plenty of funding don’t guarantee that success is inevitable; what does “it” take to succeed? The million dollar question, the magic pill, the miracle cure is…I’m sorry there isn’t one. AND anyone who tells you there is is lying!

Although the answer is simple, it certainly isn’t easy or everyone would do it. Here are some characteristics that individuals share that go on to accomplish the uncommon. Don’t take my word for it. Pick up a biography of someone you admire and see if they are there.

• Faith…to believe that there is something “more”.

• Hope…a picture of that “more” in your future.

• Courage…is the strength to take action.

• Discipline…the ability to take action on a consistent basis.

• Perseverance…the ability to continue to pursue action daily and believe in the possibility of your “more” regardless of how you feel at any given moment or what outward circumstances might indicate.

 The success or lack of success that exists in my life is determined by me. What exists or doesn’t in your life is determined by you. If you don’t like it, change it! And to change it, starts with changing ourselves. Look at the characteristics above. Are those operating in your life? If not, why not?

The secret to success is to start with a personal inventory.

Does discouragement ever keep you from doing the things you need to do to be more productive?

3 Things you can do to change that.

1. Stop and breathe…Some people just run faster and try harder. Others shut down altogether. Neither response will effectively produce results over the course of time.

Take 3 deep breathes and release slowly each time. Your nervous system will kick in and you will begin to relax. When you relax you can make better choices.

Exercise: It releases endorphins which will help you feel better. Ride a bike, walk, dance…do something you love.

(Alcohol and other substances to “feel good” don’t count.)

Hold hands with someone you love. Look them in the face and TELL them that. Build Joy…Yes, Joy is a real thing.

2. Set realistic goals. The world is tough enough. Stop trying to be Super person. Unrealistic expectations reaffirm an inability to succeed. Affirmations are great, if you really believe that in your heart…if you don’t, it is NO better that the unrealistic goal. Let yourself grow into big goals, one baby step at a time.

3. Set up accountability with someone who actually cares whether you succeed or not. Ask someone to give you honest caring feedback. I have a coach, a counselor, and an advisory board and a couple of incredible friends that I have empowered to let me have it…they help me stay on track through constructive criticism and act as cheerleaders when the going gets tough. They believe in me, even when I may begin to doubt myself.

**I believe**

Is it the worst marriages that end in divorce? Do the best ideas and  products succeed in the marketplace? Is there a thing called “happily ever after”? Most women will tell you giving birth is not fun, in fact that whole last month is pretty uncomfortable. But that new life, full of possibilities on the other side is, for most people worth it.

Many of our parents and grandparents grew up knowing the value of a good days work. They believed in saving for a rainy day, because they knew those days would come. They were influenced by a “Great Depression” and a World War. They knew good things were worth waiting for and they would live and die for what they believed. In a world of cell phones, microwaves and “super size me” it sometimes appears that the characteristics of that day are all but gone.

 But life is hard and stuff happens. No amount of societal advancement will take that away, although there are an infinite number of new methods and medications for coping with it. This is where the challenge lies. Do I avoid or ignore these obstacles or do I adopt behaviors that simply cope or cohabitate with difficulty. Or could undesirable circumstances press through to a new reality? 

In nature we see the cocooned caterpillar struggle to break free and emerge from its cocoon. It no longer resembles the creature it once was as it strains against the crystalis. Yet if helped to escape, this new creation will never have the strength in its new wings to soar as the butterfly it was meant to be.

It is through adversity that we are sharpened, compressed and refined into an image of beauty. We can deal with these opportunities and press on, or we can choose to exit this process at any point. It won’t mean that life will necessarily be easier or harder. It only means that we won’t go any further, like a child who doesn’t want to play.How can hardship work to our benefit? It works through commitment. With commitment to the process of change, the relationship, and the opportunity itself; we are transformed. When we are committed there is security. We don’t have to focus on pleasing for the moment, because the long term success is more important than the short term discomfort. With security, we can face hard things, we can take risks.

 Feeling stuck? Wondering how your hardships could actually work together for anything good? Can you put a name to those things that might hold you back?

Choose commitment and push through the process. There is something much better waiting outside the cocoon if you dare!

If you could only do one thing it would be so easy. It would be so easy to know what to do, which direction to go. But there are so many choices and so many of the choices are good…or so it seems initially. And actually there is very little inherently bad in the choices. However I have learned that, just because I can…doesn’t mean I should.

In fact just recently I was presented with an awesome looking project: something that could prove to be very fruitful, something that I could enjoy, something I have wanted to do for a while, only to discover that just because I could do this now did not mean that it WAS the right thing to do now.

The economy is not exactly optimal at the moment. It may take some creativity and may take some extra work, to make it all work. Sometimes as we work at making things work we get caught up in the doing trap of “Next”. Then whatever comes along next is what we do. And pretty soon you look up from doing to say, “How in the world did I get here?”

I will admit sometimes you do have to do whatever it takes, however the more you can stay it that place where you create the most value…the better. But to stay in your YES, you may have to learn to say NO.