Is it the worst marriages that end in divorce? Do the best ideas and products succeed in the marketplace? Is there a thing called “happily ever after”? Most women will tell you giving birth is not fun, in fact that whole last month is pretty uncomfortable. But that new life, full of possibilities on the other side is, for most people worth it.

Many of our parents and grandparents grew up knowing the value of a good days work. They believed in saving for a rainy day, because they knew those days would come. They were influenced by a “Great Depression” and a World War. They knew good things were worth waiting for and they would live and die for what they believed. In a world of cell phones, microwaves and “super size me” it sometimes appears that the characteristics of that day are all but gone.

Feeling stuck? Wondering how your hardships could actually work together for anything good? Can you put a name to those things that might hold you back?

Life is hard and stuff happens. No amount of societal advancement will take that away, although there are an infinite number of new methods and medications for coping with it. This is where the challenge lies. Do I avoid or ignore these obstacles or do I adopt behaviors that simply cope or cohabitate with difficulty. Or could I press undesirable circumstances to a new reality?

In nature we see the cocooned caterpillar struggle to break free and emerge from its cocoon. It no longer resembles the creature it once was as it strains against the crystalis. Yet if helped to escape, this new creation will never have the strength in its new wings to soar as the butterfly it was meant to be.

It is through adversity that we are sharpened, compressed and refined into an image of beauty. We can deal with these opportunities and press on, or we can choose to exit this process at any point. It won’t mean that life will necessarily be easier or harder. It only means that we won’t go any further, like a child who doesn’t want to play.How can hardship work to our benefit? It works through commitment. With commitment to the process of change, the relationship, and the opportunity itself; we are transformed. When we are committed there is security. We don’t have to focus on pleasing for the moment, because the long term success is more important than the short term discomfort. With long term success as the goal, there is a security bigger than today’s moment of comfort. With this security, we can face hard things and the fear those may bring. Commitment gives as a platform from which we can take the risks necessary to change.